 .I'll wait for you as long as I can...but I cant wait forever.  .i just dont understand why I come back even after all the pain you've put me through. Life is soo hard to deal with most of the time..if I didnt have my friends by my side I wouldnt be here right now. Honestly. Without them..I wouldve ended my life a long time ago. No words can thank them for all they've helped me through. I owe them my life, my hopes, and dreams. xo*
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Friday, June 03, 2005
these past few days have been soo much fun! Cival War day was pretty cool..and so many great times in choir! I LOVE THE BEATLES! im not even joking!they are my favorite band! lol even though they are like all dead! haha jk. but yeah..today was prairie river pride day or w/e..not too much fun. but after we got inside..me, jenna july, erin, and ashley had a "piggy back ride race" to the end of the hallway on the 8th grade floor..it was loads of fun! me n jenna won! then mrs. pugh was yelling at us for not being in our homeroom..oh well! me n jenna made a clean get away! haha. it was so much fun! so many pictures! i'll put them all on here when i get a chance!! haha. they are beautious! i love them all! haha. In choir with Borch singin:"Im not half the man I used to be.." haha we got some pretty weird looks didnt we?! lmao!it was great though. I'm still pissed at Ms Nass for making me change my shirt yesterday. :-/. thats like my favorite shirt EVER! but it wasnt "appropriate" or w/e. erg. makes me soo mad! oh well..
Me n Zach are "over" or w/e now..we both thought we were better off just friends becz we never did anything or w/e..oh well. its summer-i need to be free haha jk. i still like him though and he says he still likes me..I wish he wouldve just asked me out..but he didnt think the relationship would work becz of this summer n not seeing eachother or w/e..hmm*
well Idk what else to say!! oh yeah-Kolton says Im his *HOMEGIRL* lol cuz he's my *HOMEBOY*-->just like Jesus! yay! lol. (I have a trucker hat that says Jesus is my homeboy on it. hehe..well actually its Molli's..oh well though lol)
this weekend Im goin 4wheelin..I'll be home on sunday though but Amandas comin over so we can make our t-shirts or w/e for the last day of school! If anybody knows what time graduation or w/e is at..let me know becz Peterson has no idea whats going on with it (like he knows about ANYTHING..lol) and my mom wants to come (yes Marlee-you'll get to see her..AGAIN! lol) everyone says my mom is so pretty and that I look like her...I WISH! ha. that'd be great. well anyways..yeah. idk what else..so i'll talk to ya'll later.
Peace In*
Posted at 06:01 pm by BeczOfMakeUp
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Monday, May 09, 2005
Omfg! The school Forest was soo frickin hilarious today! lol! i hung out with Jenna (july) the whole time! we truly bonded! right jen jen? haha!jk! lol. BARBARA! COME BACK HERE NOW! lol. great times..to much to write about right now tho! Im gonna put the pix from up there on here when i get a chance..otherwise i'll print 'em off n show 'em to ya tomorrow! cant wait til track tomorrow!lol!
Posted at 09:08 pm by BeczOfMakeUp
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Saturday, May 07, 2005
No one has any idea how sick i am of all this fucking drama! *sry for swearing..im just so pissed off.
If drama was beer..the whole town of Merrill would be drunk. -->isnt that the truth? Merrill is already drunk if you ask me. soo much drama!! im sick of it all. Sick of how you cant sit by one group of people and be friends with another. Sick of all the rumors. Sick of people talking about other people behind their back. Sick of drifting away from my best friend. Sick of praying to God that i wouldnt wake up the next morning. Sick of my mistakes. Sick of wishing and never having my dreams come true. Sick of all the pain i've been through. Sick of loving someone and not being loved back. Sick of the lies my life has been built on. Sick of the scars I have on my arms from cutting the pain. Sick of keeping my feelings inside. Sick of EVERYTHING.
.Lifes a bitch n Idk if Im gonna make it through this one.
Posted at 08:37 pm by BeczOfMakeUp
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What type of teenager are you?:
the sad teen. Everything in life is f*ckin' miserable. You constantly look over your shoulder and wonder who is judging you...even when you are alone. So naturally, you have become a little paranoid and pessamistic. Your personality can be one demensional but confusing. You are constantly bored with life and wish that something could spice it up. You have a unique view on life and have identified the problems with school society (Ex...what makes popular people, how the student mind works...) You would rather be alone because you hate being hurt. You tend to think that no one understands you, not even your parents / guardians / friends. But that is just the opposite! The people who love you want to help, but they don't know how because they have a feeling that they will say something wrong and turn you away. You have to let them know that you are willing to hear what they have to say...and it might do some good to listen to them.
Some fields you might consider going in when you are older...Judge, author, songwriter, producer, therapist, psychologist, philosopher, or forensic scientist. You need a job where you can express yourself and your views on life. Or you need a field where you can judge others and predict what is going on in others life. Either way... you have the personality to get you a good job that will support you throughout life. ..*wow. that helps my self esteem*..
Which Of The Greek God's are you?:
wow..thats really hard to read. all i got out of that was LOVE and ..aphrodite/eros..*lol.
Posted at 06:42 pm by BeczOfMakeUp
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Im soo bored right now! I didnt really do anything today..just sat on here..no one was really on though. I took some quizzes..nothing too interesting though. Then I went outside and went on my 4-wheeler..my dad made me come home soon after I went out though becz he thought I was going to run away [a.g.a.i.n.] Maybe I shouldve..*Then I came back inside..no one was online then either. Amanda's at her volleyball tourney so I couldnt call n talk to her. Then I just sat and looked at icons n shit..pretty damn boring..everything in my life is boring. My life itself is a boring mistake. Enough about that though..*I get to go to my moms tomorrow at 8a.m..thank God. Becz its [*Mothers Day*]..and obviously I should be with my mom for that..uh derr!! Then I wont have to be at my dads til thursday becz thats the way things go..* Idk what else to say at the moment so I'll write more later. *
Posted at 04:26 pm by BeczOfMakeUp
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You know youre from wisconsin when...
| You Know You're From Wisconsin When... |
You can taste a difference in cheese made somewhere else
You own at least one tie with a or peice of jewelry with a Green Bay Packer theme
You can find and pronounce : Eau Claire, Oconomowoc, Menomonee Falls, Waukesha, and La Crosse, Fond du Lac.
You can correctly spell Milwaukee.
You know what "bubbler" means.
At least one of your family members works / worked in a cheese factory.
A holstein cow outside of Wisconsin makes you miss home.
You can taste the difference between apples grown up north and the ones that you can buy in the south.
When talking about the Green Bay Packers you refer to them as "we".
When the weather hits zero degrees you decide that maybe it's time to get out a jacket instead of a sweatshirt.
The family gets together every week for fish fry at the local pub.
You know what a brat is, and they're at every outdoor event that your family has ever had.
You know how to make a very good sled out of normal household items.
Your love you outdoor pool because of how it doubles as an ice skating area during the winter.
You can tell the difference between the smell of cow manure and pig manure.
You have watched Fargo and not noticed an accent.
You drive around with the air conditioning on until it hits 30 degrees, because it just was so darn hot outside.
The local paper needs 6 pages to cover the Packers... in July!
Your best shirt has a big letter G on it.
You've said "Of course they'll win. They're God's team."
You think it's nice enough to swim when the temperature hits 50.
You family owns a "winter car" while the "good one" sits in the garage from Nov-Apr.
Your put ketchup on a charcoal grilled NY strip steak.
You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground.
You think everyone from south of Madison has an accent.
You can identify a Michigan accent.
Down South to you means Chicago.
Traveling coast to coast means going from Superior to Milwaukee.
You can make sense out of the words "upnort" and "Trivers".
You have to go to Florida to get a tan in August.
You consider Madison exotic.
You can visit Luxemburg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Berlin, New London & Poland all in one afternoon.
You can recognize someone from Illinois from their driving.
You buy cat litter every winter, but you don't own a cat.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant or cannery.
You know what to do with a Blatz.
You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Bucky the Badger hangs on your Christmas tree even if you didn't go to University of Wisconsinm Madison.
You're a member of the Polar Bear Club and proud of it.
You can use the word "ya der hey" easily in a sentence
You hear someone use the words "uff-dah" and you don't immediately break into uncontrollable laughter.
Your whole family wears green and gold to church on Sunday.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue spruce.
You know how to polka
You own a cheesehead
You have cow pharaphenilia around your house, including your pajama pants
You know what a FIB is and can spot them a mile away.
You think of the major four food groups as cheese, beer, brats and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
FFA was the most popular club in high school
You have eaten a cow pie at the State Fair.
There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning
Country Kitchen is the place to meet after the party
You have ever seen or played in a "broom ball" game.
You have ever partied at Summerfest, Festa Italiana, German Fest, Irish Fest, Oktoberfest, or all of the above.
You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at a county fair.
You can't be friends with a Vikings fan
Your idea of diversity is having black, white, and brown cows.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Wisconsin. |
wow..true isnt it? lol. sry..Im posting all these things you guys prolly dont care about..but idk what to write in here..lol.
Posted at 02:15 pm by BeczOfMakeUp
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Friday, May 06, 2005
holla bak girl! what else?!
Uh huh, this my sh*t
All the girls stomp your feet like this
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
[2x]
Oooh, this my sh*t, this my sh*t [4x]
I heard that you were talking sh*t
And you didn't think that I would hear it
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
[2x]
Oooh, this my sh*t, this my sh*t [4x]
So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals, no student-teachers
Both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
[2x]
Oooh, this my sh*t, this my sh*t [4x]
Let me hear you say, this sh*t is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
This shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
Again, the shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
This shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
[2x]
Oooh, this my sh*t, this my sh*t [4x]
haha! thats mine n amanda's "song" lol..cuz yeah..track n all that shit..wtf ever..i kno..you dont care lol. "THESE PEARS ARE BANANA'S..B-A-N-A-N-A-S.." omfg..i luv my remix..lol.
*ox  xo*
Posted at 07:43 pm by BeczOfMakeUp
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It seems like my whole life is a lie. Maybe I really am a mistake. I shouldnt be here right now..after all the things I've done wrong..even though I regret just about everything wrong I've done in the past..there's still something keeping me here. But what? What could God have in store for [me]. I've done nothing to deserve my life..and I wish with every hope and dream I've ever had..that it would be over. I'd never have to look into someone's eye and tell them Im sorry or worry about being hated or rejected. I think I'm in love but lately..it doesnt seem like I'm being loved back. I just dont know what to do anymore. So many things have been going wrong. People have been telling me how "quiet" I've been lately..or have been telling me how much I've changed this year. People change..get over it. Maybe its becz I'm begining to realize who I can really trust..and who I seriously hate. Or maybe becz I've found out who really "loves" me..and whose been pretending to all these years. Idk what to think or do anymore..
Posted at 06:09 pm by BeczOfMakeUp
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